I sit here this morning in front of the computer looking through a few pictures from last week, and I came up on this one. Something about it explains it all. Explains how much he loves life… and how much life loves him. And more than that… how I feel, and how much I love him. Nobody knows this little boy better than his mama. Nobody. And nobody ever will. Nobody.
It’s taken me a long time to come out and say this. and i really don’t know how to say it… other than this..
Grayson has some speech and development delays. There. I said it. But — they do not — and will never ever — define him. To Joe and I, he is expressive and communicative… and the greatest thing on our planet. He makes us light up every day. He has taught us how to love life. He amazes us… every single day.
I honestly don’t know why I am writing all of this here… maybe so that I don’t feel like we are hiding anything or keeping secrets. And I guess I felt like there needed to be some kind of explanation of sorts.. so you could understand that Joe and I are not some pair of oblivious dummies sitting around just waiting for magic to happen. But.. we will not give up. We are not the kind of people that give up and turn to sadness. We are optimistic. We know that Grayson has a big bright future ahead of him.
We have a busy week ahead… busy weeks and months… Grayson is being put thru the medical ringer trying to pinpoint his delays, crossing off and ruling out countless possibilities along the way. but even through all of this, he is one happy little boy. And He’s got a mountain of support and love surrounding him. It’s our job more than ever to protect Grayson and to continue building a safe and positive place for him to thrive in.. and provide him all the resources that he needs. In these ways, he is most certainly one of the luckiest boys I know.
Nothing will ever ever change how we love Grayson, and so I’m not going to suddenly change the way I discuss him in this place. When we know more… and, if and when I am ready, I will discuss it in an educated clear-headed way as it specifically pertains to him. But right now it would come out as pages and pages of confusion and speculation and worry.
So for now, just respect that we aren’t ready to discuss the ins and outs of what is going on just yet. This is good for now.
Thanks for reading… and thanks for understanding. Understanding is the best gift you can get sometimes. xo.